I’ve had several expats tell me this is paradise. Hence the title of the blog. Plan on seeing frequent posts until the new wears off.
The major attractions here are the weather, girl watching, the sea, and the low cost of living. The weather is hot and humid which makes girl watching all the better on account of the skimpy oufits worn. Filipinas have a natural hip swaying motion when walking that comes a bit shy of a sashay suitable for runway models. It is intriguing to watch as they walk past, particularly a pair of SYTs in short shorts at the mall.
The women
The women have a ready smile and a friendly manner and are very easy to talk to. Sometimes too easy. This is a very poor country and most people subsist just above poverty level. I haven’t counted the number of times a would-be friendly chat turned into a solicitation for commercial sex, in which I have no interest aside from curiosity. The pitch usually starts with an expressed need for money to pay the rent, buy a sick father medicine, etc. The asking prices have ranged from P500 to P2,000. That’s approximately $12.50 and $50.00 respectively. They usually start by asking for a loan, if you demure – and what idiot wouldn’t? – they will then offer to come to your place. I’ve lately dodged that part by claiming I am married to a woman much larger than myself who beats me.
One night a pair of girls didn’t bother with the preliminary. They caught my eye while I was sitting in a wifi hotspot coffee house and joined me at my table after a little flirtatious eye contact. They straight up offered the solicitation for a double header without any small talk or shilly shallying. That’s when I trotted out the notional large, mean hausdrache. Another variation I’ve used is the price haggle. Interesting specifics have emerged from such a dialog.
If you come here and decide to participate, please be super extra careful. The Philippine Republic comes down hard on anyone who has commercial sex with a person under the age of 18. There’s a variation on the badger game; big brother shows up in time to wilt your ardor with a pronouncement that it will take a lot of money to keep your indiscretion discreet. Believe me, you would rather contract all manner of STD than go to the Pinoy clink where you can languish for up to a year before your case is called up. When the local magistrates get through with you, home you go where you will face one of the DOJs crusading feminist prosecutors. No double jeopardy as we’re talking two counties here; you get a relatively short, absolutely miserable stretch in the RP, and a long one among kinks and child molesters after you get back home, AND the life-time stamp of “sex offender.”
In general, Filipinas are easy to meet and talk to if it is obvious you are a westerner. Despite the skimpy attire and the sexy walk they tend to be very modest and sometimes painfully shy. Caucasians my size, 6’/190 or 182/92, are something of an oddity here. I have made it a point of learning the local transportation system and often ride jeepneys at the cost of P7 versus as much as P80 for a taxi. I was coming home one evening when one of the shop girls sitting across from me continued to stare. I was feeling a tad uncomfortable and stuck my hand out to introduce myself. The poor girl was mortified and the other riders were highly amused.
Eating
The foodstuffs easy to buy and plentiful here are rice – a staple for nearly every Pilipino meal – fresh tropical fruit, hot weather vegetables (great okra, scrawny potatoes) hardy leaf vegetables, but crops requiring less robust weather are seldom seen. For example there’s no spinach and the only lettuce is imported for the fast food chains. I don’t think there is a soul in this country who can spell “asparagus.” There’s a good bit of imported foods from China and New Zealand.
One of my favorite foods while I lived in California was a blender mix of mango, bananas, and yogurt. Dairy products here don’t have the variety found in the states and large containers of plain yogurt just aren’t available.
I know yogurt is reasonably easy to make, but I don’t know how. Like any good byte-head, when I want to know something, I Google it. “recipe + yogurt” yielded a number of sites, the first of which is www.fiascofarms.com. Inviting what?
Native Pinoy dining habits employ a fork and a table spoon or the meal is simply eaten with the hands. A lot of it is cooked over charcoal. I had a half chicken and rice with a family in a fast food restaurant catering to Filipinos. The rice is made up in huge stock pots and dipped out in 1 cup servings. It is often called sticky rice. Good name; it is a bland, glutinous mass. A sauce made up of juice from a lime-like fruit, mixed with soy sauce, and spiked with a bit of seriously hot pepper gives it character and authority. The chicken didn’t need any help; it was pretty good on its own.
Fast food here includes the usual suspects led by McDonalds, followed closely by KFC. There is a direct competitor to the former named Jollibee. Shakeys, Greenwich, DaVinci, and Yellow Cab are pizza houses. All offer a variation suitable to the taste and appetite of the locals. Portions are smaller, but then, too, prices are about a third of that in the states.
This morning my breakfast included hot tea, a mango, a couple of finger-sized bananas, half a small papaya, buttered bread and a glass of milk. I’m planning on an apple, cheese and cracker lunch.
The Sea
The major attractions here are the weather, girl watching, the sea, and the low cost of living. The weather is hot and humid which makes girl watching all the better on account of the skimpy oufits worn. Filipinas have a natural hip swaying motion when walking that comes a bit shy of a sashay suitable for runway models. It is intriguing to watch as they walk past, particularly a pair of SYTs in short shorts at the mall.
The women
The women have a ready smile and a friendly manner and are very easy to talk to. Sometimes too easy. This is a very poor country and most people subsist just above poverty level. I haven’t counted the number of times a would-be friendly chat turned into a solicitation for commercial sex, in which I have no interest aside from curiosity. The pitch usually starts with an expressed need for money to pay the rent, buy a sick father medicine, etc. The asking prices have ranged from P500 to P2,000. That’s approximately $12.50 and $50.00 respectively. They usually start by asking for a loan, if you demure – and what idiot wouldn’t? – they will then offer to come to your place. I’ve lately dodged that part by claiming I am married to a woman much larger than myself who beats me.
One night a pair of girls didn’t bother with the preliminary. They caught my eye while I was sitting in a wifi hotspot coffee house and joined me at my table after a little flirtatious eye contact. They straight up offered the solicitation for a double header without any small talk or shilly shallying. That’s when I trotted out the notional large, mean hausdrache. Another variation I’ve used is the price haggle. Interesting specifics have emerged from such a dialog.
If you come here and decide to participate, please be super extra careful. The Philippine Republic comes down hard on anyone who has commercial sex with a person under the age of 18. There’s a variation on the badger game; big brother shows up in time to wilt your ardor with a pronouncement that it will take a lot of money to keep your indiscretion discreet. Believe me, you would rather contract all manner of STD than go to the Pinoy clink where you can languish for up to a year before your case is called up. When the local magistrates get through with you, home you go where you will face one of the DOJs crusading feminist prosecutors. No double jeopardy as we’re talking two counties here; you get a relatively short, absolutely miserable stretch in the RP, and a long one among kinks and child molesters after you get back home, AND the life-time stamp of “sex offender.”
In general, Filipinas are easy to meet and talk to if it is obvious you are a westerner. Despite the skimpy attire and the sexy walk they tend to be very modest and sometimes painfully shy. Caucasians my size, 6’/190 or 182/92, are something of an oddity here. I have made it a point of learning the local transportation system and often ride jeepneys at the cost of P7 versus as much as P80 for a taxi. I was coming home one evening when one of the shop girls sitting across from me continued to stare. I was feeling a tad uncomfortable and stuck my hand out to introduce myself. The poor girl was mortified and the other riders were highly amused.
Eating
The foodstuffs easy to buy and plentiful here are rice – a staple for nearly every Pilipino meal – fresh tropical fruit, hot weather vegetables (great okra, scrawny potatoes) hardy leaf vegetables, but crops requiring less robust weather are seldom seen. For example there’s no spinach and the only lettuce is imported for the fast food chains. I don’t think there is a soul in this country who can spell “asparagus.” There’s a good bit of imported foods from China and New Zealand.
One of my favorite foods while I lived in California was a blender mix of mango, bananas, and yogurt. Dairy products here don’t have the variety found in the states and large containers of plain yogurt just aren’t available.
I know yogurt is reasonably easy to make, but I don’t know how. Like any good byte-head, when I want to know something, I Google it. “recipe + yogurt” yielded a number of sites, the first of which is www.fiascofarms.com. Inviting what?
Native Pinoy dining habits employ a fork and a table spoon or the meal is simply eaten with the hands. A lot of it is cooked over charcoal. I had a half chicken and rice with a family in a fast food restaurant catering to Filipinos. The rice is made up in huge stock pots and dipped out in 1 cup servings. It is often called sticky rice. Good name; it is a bland, glutinous mass. A sauce made up of juice from a lime-like fruit, mixed with soy sauce, and spiked with a bit of seriously hot pepper gives it character and authority. The chicken didn’t need any help; it was pretty good on its own.
Fast food here includes the usual suspects led by McDonalds, followed closely by KFC. There is a direct competitor to the former named Jollibee. Shakeys, Greenwich, DaVinci, and Yellow Cab are pizza houses. All offer a variation suitable to the taste and appetite of the locals. Portions are smaller, but then, too, prices are about a third of that in the states.
This morning my breakfast included hot tea, a mango, a couple of finger-sized bananas, half a small papaya, buttered bread and a glass of milk. I’m planning on an apple, cheese and cracker lunch.
The Sea
So far, the beaches I’ve seen are something of a disappointment. There is a 7 meter tide here. That’s 23 feet. What I have seen are steeply angled seawalls with a narrow band of sand before one reaches the water. I have, however been promised the real thing when I visit a friend’s resort on Siargao. See the promo here. My brother came over for a diving vacation and found some great places which I haven’t had a chance to visit yet.
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